


xoxo -me (snowbaz)

by bitchyfangirl



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Cute, Fluff, Gay, Highschool AU, Letters, M/M, No Smut, SnowBaz, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, baz x simon - Freeform, gay fluff, they're not roommates in this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-07 23:47:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11069601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitchyfangirl/pseuds/bitchyfangirl
Summary: Tyrannus Basilton Grimm Pitch knows a lot of things. Most importantly, he knows that Simon Snow is hot as fuck, that he is in love with Simon Snow, that he hates Simon Snow, that he got a letter that may have been from Simon Snow, that he wrote a reply to Simon Snow, and that the reply was, accidentally and rather unfortunately, mailed to someone who Baz sincerely hopes is Simon Snow. A lot of Baz's thoughts can be tied to Simon Snow, and it becomes a rather complicated situation.





	1. The Letters

**Author's Note:**

> Basically I was using font names as writing prompts and I ended up with this (the font was called 'just me again down here' if you wanted to know). Hopefully it doesn't completely suck and you enjoy it? some of the letters are kinda (shitty) poetryish cuz why not. also the formatting's probably fucked up but i tried my best to get it not so horrible lmao

Hi  
It's me  
Little old me  
That one infuriating boy  
You’ll probably never see this  
I doubt you even know me  
But in the off chance you do  
I’d like to tell you a few things  
So, uh, here goes..?  
1\. I think I'm in love with you. Which sucks. Because we barely talk and you probably don't really know who I am and if you do you probably hate me because I'm awkward and I don't know which is worse and also you're probably straight. That would be inconvenient  
2\. I'm not a stalker, I don't want to seem creepy. I’m not creepy, we sit by each other in chem (hey, we have chemistry. That was lame whoops) and we kinda have mutual friends so it's not weird for me to have a crush on you, right?  
3\. I'll never send this, so if you're reading this then I have seriously bad luck and something bad happened or I somehow got the courage to send it and I’m now sitting and regretting it as we speak.  
4\. If you are reading this, please don't hate me, okay?  
5\. You're beautiful. You're absolutely beautiful.  
6\. You're really organized and somehow it's really fucking cute when you sneeze?  
7\. I know we don't know each other well but I'd like to know you better and also if you ever need me for anything (to talk, a favour or something, someone to be your fake boyfriend, or even better your actual boyfriend) let me know, okay?  
XOXO  
-Me

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

HI ITS ME AND FUCKING SHIT I SENT IT IF YOU DIDN’T YET PLEASE DON'T READ IT IT’D SAVE ME A LOT OF HUMILIATION AND ANXIETY THANKS -ME

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Wait  
I realize  
That I didn't  
Sign my actual name  
So it’s okay  
To read  
XOXO  
-Me


	2. chapter two (the writer is incapable of chapter names)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baz reads the letters and proceeds to sit in a tree for a bit (i don't fucking know)

Okay, literally what the fuck am I reading? I’m willing to bet almost anything this is a prank. Probably some weird prank Dev and Niall are playing on me. They do shit like this all the time. I don't think they’re creative enough to pull something like this off, though. I love my friends (kinda?), but they’re utterly, absolutely thick. Like, come on, if they just used their brains they could be more interesting and be smarter and all that shit. I’ve got loads of homework is should start on. Instead, I walk down the long staircase of my house to the kitchen and ask Vera (our maid) to make me a cup of tea. Generally, I’d make it myself, but she complains that we don’t give her enough to do and that she feels useless. I think it’s absolutely ridiculous, but, I mean, I guess I'm not gonna argue with her. She hands me the mug of tea (it’s emblazoned with the emblem of my school. It’s supposed to be a prestigious private school, but it’s absolute bullshit. It’s not like it’s any different from other schools, just more expensive looking, better for uni applications, I suppose.) I thank Vera and head back to my dark, foreboding room. I don't like my house much. It's Victorian. It’s so big. It gets rather lonely.   
I reread the letter- I'm still sure it’s a prank. Maybe from that Penny girl? She and I aren’t close- we’re barely even friends, but she’s quite creative, and she’s also horrible about boundaries, so I wouldn't put it past her. I snort at the part about me being “probably straight.“ Pfft- yeah right, I’m literally the gayest person this world has ever known. See, I didn’t realize this until this new kid joined our class? But then he was there talking and laughing and being incredibly annoying and his blue eyes twinkled and his lips looked sugary and pink and oh-so-kissable and his hair was tumbling onto his brow from the top of his head in glossy locks and I had an utter epiphany. “I am so absolutely fucking gay,” I muttered. Apparently, Agatha, the girl who sits in front of me, heard. She never spoke to me again. Not because she was homophobic, Penny said she was upset because she had liked me or something? Luckily, Agatha never told anyone other than Penny. But yeah. I’m gay as fuck. Simon Snow made me realize that. Fucking Snow with his perfect smile and perfect everything. I hate him. No, I don’t. I love him. But he’s probably straight so I’m trying to fool myself and squash my feelings (it’s not working. Which pisses me off. Bloody Simon.).  
I decide to write a reply, because, well, I took all my finals already, and I have literally nothing to do (other than that homework. I'm putting that off). It’s not like I could mail it- there’s no return address. I’m gonna pretend it was Simon who wrote it. Just because I can. I mean, some of it makes sense, too. Not to get my hopes up, but Simon is quite infuriating, I’ve told him so quite a bit. It’s true he and I hardly talk. We do sit close to each other in chem, it’s one of two classes we have together. We kinda have mutual friends, Penny is his best friend, and Niall and Dev are kinda friendly with him. Maybe they count? It’s similar to his handwriting, too. At least what I can remember of it? I’m probably just getting my hopes up. But nevertheless, I begin a reply. 

 

Dear “me”,   
You are infuriating. And I definitely know you, you gorgeous boy, if you are who I think you are. Again, if you're who I think you are, I'm in love with you, too. You’re not awkward. I do hate you, but it’s only me trying to convince myself I don’t love you. I do. Love you, that is. And I'm certainly not straight. I’m gay. I’m really fucking gay. Gay as hell. The gayest of the gays. Gay™. Hella gay. Straight as a rainbow. Gayyyyyyyyyyyyyy. That’s me. Gay as fuck. I love dick. I’m really, really gay. I realized it because of you. If you are who I think you are. Which you might not be. We’ll see. I guess. Probably not because you didn’t give me a fucking return address you little shit. Anyway, erm, how are you? And also who are you? Are you who I think you are?

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I don’t send it. I can’t. I wouldn’t if I could. Probably not, at least. I look at the envelope again. Wait a second… there’s something scrawled inside? A PO box number. Are you fucking kidding me? I put it in an envelope and address it to the PO box number. I’m not gonna send it, but it’d seem incomplete to not, you know? I set it down on my desk in my pile of various incoming and outgoing mail that i don’t want to deal with at the moment.  
I think I'll go on a walk. I put down my now empty mug of tea, and I throw on my shoes and walk towards the woods at the back of my house. I reach my favourite tree, I named her Elizabeth when I was seven, and start climbing. I make my way up the huge pine tree. I’m probably too big to be climbing the tree at this point, but she’s so strong and old, and I'm sure Eliza will be able to hold me. I reach my favourite branch, about 50 feet up. I actually fell from this branch once. I managed to fall onto a different branch before I reached the ground. I was lucky, it knocked the wind out of me and I broke four ribs (three on my left side, one on my right), but I was lucky. That was when I was twelve. I’m not too worried about falling, but it’s good to be careful, I suppose. My favourite branch literally forms a seat, the back being the tree trunk. It’s like the branch moves out from the tree in a slow upward curve, with a dip in the middle of the branch on the top. I sit down and get lost in my thoughts, most of them surrounding one Simon Snow. Time passes, half an hour, an hour, two, I don’t know. I begin my descent down the tree.   
Once I’m back in the house, I hear Vera yell,   
“Oh, Basil, you’re back! Do you want me to send your college applications?” I have plenty of backup colleges I still need to send applications to. I’ve been procrastinating. I don’t think I’ll need any of the backups, both my parents went to Harvard, as did generations of my family before me, so I’ll be a legacy student, which should help, plus I’ve been top of my class since sophomore year (Penelope Bunce was ahead of me that year. It was absolutely humiliating and infuriating.). Anyway, it’s still important to have backups just in case.   
“That’d be great, thank you Vera! They’re on my desk,” I reply. I head towards the kitchen. I hate eating with my family, or in front of other people in general, and Vera always makes sure to make a little extra and save it for me to eat later. Vera it the best, honestly. She takes such good care of me, and she puts up with so much shit from my family, it’s a miracle she’s still sane. It’s past dinner, so I grab the plate and head to my room. I pass Vera on the way up. “Thank you,” I nod at the stack of college applications she’s carrying.   
“No problem, sweetheart.” Vera is from America, some southern state I think? She calls everyone sweetheart. In my room, I plop down in front of my fireplace (Vera must’ve made a fire for me, too. That woman spoils me.) and start eating my food. I grab the homework I need to start on- maths. It’s some “college course,” according to my teacher. I’m in an advanced maths class. I hate it, but it means I don’t have to take math in uni, so I guess it could be worse. I finish it pretty quickly, it was fairly easy, just review. I finish my dinner, and, as I don’t feel prepared to interact with anyone else today, I bring my plate downstairs, brush my teeth, change into a pair of sweats, and go straight to bed. Not straight. Directly. I actually fall asleep fairly quickly, which is uncommon for me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, sorry for the shit formatting, hopefully it wasn't that awful lmao

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this train wreck, I hope you enjoy it!! also bear with me it get's better once we exit the letters portion i promise. I'll try to update as often as possible :)


End file.
